Empress of a Thousand Galaxies
by Mischieffoal
Summary: 'You! Not one word. This is between me and the- Emperor." Once I was convinced he'd stay zipped, I turned to Porridge. "I don't want this to sound like the basic response, because I mean it; I'll think about it."
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

A marriage proposal from an Emperor. Well, I can certainly say I did not see _that_ one coming.

_ "That's what happens when you're the Emperor. Loneliest job in the Universe."_

_ "You don't have to be lonely!"_

_ "I don't." Porridge turned towards me, and rather scarily got down on one knee. I mean scarily as in 'Oh my god he's going to propose' rather than 'Oh my god he's going to blow up.' "Clara. Will you marry me?"_

_ "What?" Brain to mouth, brain to mouth, next time do not move without my permission._

_ "He said-"_

_ "She _heard_ what he said!"_

_ "You're smart, and you're beautiful, and I've never met anyone like you before. And being Emperor won't be as heard with you by my side, and you'd rule a thousand galaxies!"_

_ The Doctor sneaked up behind him and I watched him warily – with reason, it turned out. "This sounds like an actual marriage proposal. Tricky. Now, if you want my advice—"_

_ 'You! Not one word. This is between me and the- Emperor." Once I was convinced he'd stay zipped, I turned to Porridge. "I don't want this to sound like the basic response, because I mean it; I'll think about it."_

_ The Doctor started flailing his arms around and I'm pretty sure I heard Angie squeal, but I ignored them. _

_ "I've got a life back home that I can't just up and leave, and becoming an empress... it's a big decision! So, you send me your co-ordinates, and I _promise_ I will tell you." I used the shocked silence of everyone to escape to the TARDIS and hyperventilate over what I'd just said for a few minutes._

I worked up the courage and eventually crept back into the control room. Angie glanced up and walked over from where Artie and the Doctor were having what looked like an in-depth analysis of a potato and gave me an awed high-five. "I guess you're dumping him, then?" She gestured with a thumb towards the Timelord.

I used delyaing tactics. "We were never actually together. There was nothing there—"

"Nothing?!"

"Nothing like _that_!"

"Thanks Clara, thanks Clara's ex!"

The tenseness reached amazing new heights as the kids left us alone to go back to their wonderfully ordinary lives.

"How long are you going to take making that decision?" His question was almost in-audible, but it was a case of 'get the tone and you get the meaning'. The tone was such that he didn't even look at me.

I tried and failed to not gulp, and then replied "Well, doesn't really matter when your best mate's got a time machine, does it?" I thought he took it seriously, so I changed the subject quickly. "See you next Wednesday!" I grinned, hoping to convice him that I hadn't gone insane/wasn't considering marrying a dwarf emperor, then _Exuent Clara Oswald to the Doctor's ramblings about Wednesdays._

"Are you really going to think about it?"

I put the kettle on to give me something to do with my hands. "Yes, Angie, I am. Where's Artie?"

"Upstairs on his computer, I think he's playing chess with it. Do you fancy him?"

"Who?" Delay, delay, delay...

"Porridge, idiot."

"No." Oops, that was a bit too quick. "He' a great guy; funny, clever—"

"Emperor of a thousand galaxies?"

"Y-es, that too,"

Angie glanced up, a question on the tip of her annoyingly malicious tongue.

"But only because he's so lonely. I don't think anyone should rule that much alone, and to... um... not even thing about it would be selfish as well as rude." I was quite pleased with that answer, it managed to explain to _me_ why I wanted to go back there right now and— tell him my answer.

Unfortunately, Angie wasn't the sort of kid to leave it there. "You fancy him, then."

"He's a dwarf from thousands of years in the future who blows up planets!"

"You fancy him."

"...yes." I grabbed Artie's tea and sprinted upstairs without spilling a drop.

"Can I be your bridesmaid?" Angie shouted from the kitchen.

Tea flew everywhere. "No you cannot!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Apparently, running for our lives from a bunch of farty fat people was enough to make the Doctor forget about my possible marriage. Of course, I wasn't thinking that right now, as we ran off an invisible cliff to our very probable deaths, unless the Doctor was actually right about the rocks beneath us being holographic. No, I had much more important things to consider than the fact that I would never walk down the aisle towards a certain emperor,

The rocks were holographic, the stinking ocean beneath them wasnt, and according to the Doctor smelling of old fish and chips was a good thing, as Slytheen are allergic to vinegar. Obviously.

"You're" splash "not really" gulp "thinking about" snort "marrying him" gasp "are you?"

I stared incredulously at the Doctor – well, what I could see of him as we swam through waves of dilute acetic acid. "We're talking" splash "about this" gulp "now?!"

"Good point." He dived under a fence, I shook my head, braced myself and followed him.

"That was a joke, wasn't it? You two set it up!"

I froze whilst drying my still-slightly-smelly hair. "It _really_ wasn't."

"Oh, come on, it was a good act, you can give it up now." He grinned and I felt the urge to rip off his bow tie and strangle him with it. People don't do that often enough.

"It was _not _a joke, Doctor."

"Oh." He leant awkwardly on the console panel.

"Yeah. And I'm still thinking about it."

"Why do you smell like vinegar?"

"Don't ask, Artie, just leave it."

"Why are you in such a bad mood?"

"Artie!"

"I bet it's because of Porridge." Angie strolled into the kitchen, cool as you like.

"Angie!"

"What's wrong with porridge?" This was from Nina, who I'd failed to notice calmly drinking a black coffee.

"Should you be drinking that?" Ooh, I'd gone back to delaying.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm seventeen."

Okay, unexpected answer. "Blimey, are you?" I didn't say 'God, you're short' out loud, buy eveyone in the room heard it anyway.

"What's wrong with porridge?"

Short and tenacious as a bull. And quite cute. Maybe I have a thing for midgets. Although she wasn't even starting to reach Porridge's anti-height; and to that, a little voice in my head, that sounded suspiciously like Angie, replied 'she isn't even starting to reach Porridge's attractiveness.' I hit imaginary-Angie on the head with an imaginary-saucepan.

"Nothing is wrong with porridge, it's a healthy breakfast and it tastes good."

"I'll bet he does!" Angie giggled.

"Angie, say another word and I'll confiscate your phone for the day."

She jumped to the doorway, probably preparing for a quick getaway. "Porridge is the nickname of Clara's betrothed." She bolted before I'd even figured out what she'd said.

"We're not engaged!" I frantically assured Nina. "We're not even going out."

"Are you angry because of him, then?" The reasonably confused best friend asked.

"Sort of. More the Doctor's opinion of our relationship."

"The Doctor?"

I leant my elbows on the counter and put my head in my hands. "Don't go there. Just don't."


	3. Chapter 3

**For the moment, I'm going to pretend that 'The Name of the Doctor' hasn't happened. It might not ever happen in this fanfic, so I think I'm just going to forget it did for a few chapters. I might include it at a later date.**

**Chapter Three**

"Doctor..."

He glanced up from tinkering with his beloved snog-box. "Hm?"

"Did you get the co-ordinates from Porridge?"

He raised his non-existant eyebrows. It had been three months since the last time we'd talked about the Emperor, after the vinegar/sea incident. The Doctor was the best mate I'd ever had, and I suppose that, in a weird ort of way, I didn't want him to get jealous. Not that there was anything between me and Porridge (or me and him, for that matter, thank you very much), but he got a bit touchy each time we spoke about the Emperor – and I guess the Cyber controller's flirting with me must have come from _somewhere_. "No, I haven't." Yep, immediately touchy. "And if he'd sent them, I would have received them, no matter the time zone of sector of the Universe.

I paused, then shrugged. "He probably hasn't arrived back to wherever he lives."

Neither of us mentioned that since we were more than a few centuries out, that the time it took Porridge to return to his home/castle/palace wouldn't have made any difference.

/

Another nine months went by, completely normally (except for Wednesdays, but by that time I'd pretty much forgotten that travelling through time and pace with a mad man and his box was considered unusual), and not a peep out of Porridge. Figures that he'd had time to think through his decision as well, and had realised it was a rash choice to propose to a girl he'd met only a few hours ago. Of course it's not like I was depressed and certainly did _not_ cry when I noticed it was the first anniversary of his proposal and I still hadn't heard anything. I guess the trick is not to fall in love.

/

On that anniversary, I gave in to a lot of thing, including the tiny brown eyed beauty that was Nina. I think I only allowed myself to notice that I even liked her when I'd put my feelings for Porridge in an out of the way cupboard in my brain. Or perhaps I was waiting until she was ninteen – but to be honest, if I had realised that I fancied her, I wouldn't really have worried about her age before asking her out – it's not like four year age differences haven't happened before.

"Nina, will you go out with me?"

"What?"  
"She said—"

"She heard what she said!" Angie and Artie giggled in the background.

"You're smart, you're beautiful, and I've never met anyone like you before. And being their nanny won't be as hard with you here, and you could boss them around."

"Did you just list bossing them around as a perk of being your girlfriend?"

"Yep."

"_They_ are still in the room!"

"Well, I'm very sorry, Angie," Nina didn't sound at all apologetic, not that I minded, "Can you shove off?"

Our first date – my first ever, actually, which is a bit odd for a twenty-three-year-old, but what the hell. Our first date was at the tiny old cinema that showed classic films, though as Nina said 'If Return of the Jedi is a classic, I'll eat my fedora.' For some reason, Princess Leia's ewok friend reminded me of Porridge. I hit myself over the head with the imaginary-saucepan and concentrated on the film (and Nina, probably more on her as a) I know the film off by heart and b) it was a _date_ for God's sake).

/

I opened the TARDIS door before it had fully materiliased in the front garden. "Good morning! You're late!"

The Doctor grinned. "My deepest apologies, Miss Oswald. I was preparing for our next destination."

"No excuses, Doctor, you're wasting time again!"

He giggled as he flew around his ship, pressing buttons I'm pretty sure were for display purposes only. "Miss me?"

"Not particularly, you've only been gone a week."

"Really? I think I'm getting better at this time travelling business—"

"And I've got a girlfriend, so I have a distraction from moping around here waiting for Wednesdays."

He froze. "That was unexpected. I thought you still waiting on Porride?"

I shrugged a little too nonchalently. "Yeah, well, I thought I year is—"

"Is it Nina?"

Okay, maybe I should have still been a little frightened of him, because that was _weird._ "How?"

"Your first girlfriend was called Nina."

"_Is _called Nina."

"Right..." He clamped his mouth shut and threw the lever that I think is the ignition. After a few moments of me hanging on very tightly to the railing, only just managing to stay upright and him staring worryingly into nothing, the TARDIS landed again. "You think I was jealous of Porridge."

"You _were_." I didn't add 'and now you're jealous of Nina' but he heard it anyway.

"I wasn't. I just knew your first partner had to be Nina and I din't want you messing up your own timeline."

"How did you know she was?"

"Very long answer, and one I'm not quite sure about."

"You're a timelord, I don't think length is an issue."

"Clara," he took my hands in his, which always makes me scared, because if he feels the need to steady me, than the news is never good. "I don't know how, but I've met you in the future, in your future and Earth's, so I can't tell you. I can't tell you anything." He breathed out heavily, then threws open the doors to the outside world/asteroid/spaceship.

"...Okay. So, yo were protecting me. But you were jealous as well."

"Clara!"

"You're blushing!"

"_Clara!"_

_/_

**Updates are going to be sporadic from now on, exams from now until the end of June, then camping with fellow home-educators and Woodcraft Folk! So, I should get a few more chapters in, but don't hold your hopes up!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Nina was pretty, and a good kisser, and I think I was a good girlfriend – hell, I was probably a great one – every so often I would see something that reminded me of another, shorter, person, hundreds of years in the future, but my crush on the Emperor was over – it really never was going to work. I liked my 21st century like and my weekly trips into the unknown and I had an awesome girlfriend, what's not to like? So, I went out with Nina on weekends, looked after Angie and Artie on weekdays, and travelled with the Doctor on Wednesdays. Sometimes the three separate parts of my life leaked into one another, but normally without many consequence. I say normally...

/

"Ahem."

We broke apart, Nina bashfully and me annoyed at being discovered kissing by a fourteen-year-old.

"I was just going to say breakfast?"

/

We all heard the whoosh of the TARDIS arriving early. Arty subtely shifted his position at the table so that Nina couldn't see the blue box appearing out of nowhere, and Angie ran to the door as though she'd gone to meet someone. It was almost as if we'd rehearsed it, but I was not expecting Angie's next ad-lib.

"Where're you going?"

"It's Jenny's dad, I'm staying at hers today, didn't Dad tell you?" And then she was out of the door. I heard a door slam and that beautiful whoosing sound again.

Artie jumped up and stared out of the window, then looked back with an expression of not-at-all-concealed shock, with envy and a little bit of fear mixed in.

"Who's Pippa?"

I giggled stupidly and took a moment to get my breath back and lie. "Jenny's her best friend from... astronomy club."

Nina mock pouted. "Ouch, that hurt!"

"What did?"

"I thought _I _was her best friend!"

"Well, Clara stole you." Arty had either suddenly got very good at acting or really was being natural. I wasn't sure which scard me most.

Fortunately Nina took it alright and slung my arm over her shoulder. "Well, I'm perfectly happy with my thief."


	5. Chapter 5

AN: You're not going to be hearing much from me for a while, GCSEs have already taken over, sorry! I will try and get back on track, hopefully by the end of June (emphasis on _hopefully_). Sorry!

/

**Chapter Five**

Nina left at about three, and by four thirty we were worried.

"Maybe he put the wrong date in?"

"Maybe..." We knew we were kidding ourselves. Something had gone wrong, and there was no way we could help. "Well, whatever, she'd better get home before your dad."

/

At five sixteen, the door flew open and an out of breath, dirty and excited Angie burt through it. I couldn't even get a hug in before she started talking.

"What's your ring size?"

"What?!"

"Don't shoot the messengar!" Ah, the long awaited return of normal, grumpy Angie.

"Fine! Who are you playing Hermes for?"

She gave a dramatic sigh. "Just tell me your ring size, Clara."

"Why does mystery person want to know?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe to _buy you a ring?!"_

I couldn't really see how giving my ring size to someone could have any bad effects, and I was glad Angie was home and unharmed, so I gave up the argument. "Size K."

"Thanks Clara!" She shot back out of the door.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm playing Hermes!" And she was gone.

Artie looked up at me, shrugged then walked back inside. We jut had to hope she came back.

/

"Who would want to buy me a ring?"

Artiey raised an eyebrow. "Did you hit your head?"

"No... why?"

"Because you are such an idiot that you must have concussion."

I slumped down into a chair, and ran through all the possible candidate in my head. There weren't many, in fact there was only Nina and I'm pretty sure Angie wouldn't have had to visit her in the TARDIS for Nina to get my ring size.

/

A minute later, the TARDIS materiliased in the front garden and Angie wrenched open the blue wooden doors.

Artie pressed his face to the window as I jumped up. "Clara..."

"Artie?!"

"Her hair is longer..."

I think my heart stopped for a second. I sprinted outside and grabbed her into a hug, "Whatever it is, it can wait until tomorrow."

Angie ignored me and reached for something at the back of my neck, then shouted back at the Doctor, who'd just appeared wearing a much smarter suit than normal and looking extremely uncomfortable in it. "UK 14!"

She started to wriggle out of my arms, but I had had practice and stood my ground. "It can wait until _tomorrow, or even next Wednesday_! We have a time machine!"

"But it's only half term until Friday!"

"Fine, tomorrow then." I looked over her shoulder for the Doctor, who was trying to surruptitiously shut the TARDIS doors and make a quick getaway. "Thank you, Doctor."

He stuck his head out of the door, gave me a funny little smile and mouthed 'thanks for taking her back!'

/

"Nice dress." Artie smirked as Angie and I entered the kitchen.

I hadn't even noticed the new clothes – but now I understood the smirk. Angie _never _wore dresses and this was some dress – it had a massive poofy skirt and was patterned with red and white flowers that looked vaguely extra-terrestial. "Yes, it is! Who gave it to you and why are you still wearing it?"

"I think it's pretty."

Artie gave me a look of horrified shock. "I think she's been brainwashed," he stage whispered.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, so where did you get it?"

"I got it in return for a favour." She smirked now, and I was starting to get just a teensy bit worried.

She got that massive dress, which did look pretty – pretty expensive – in return for telling someone my ring and dress size? "Yeah, okay, you from?"

Angie's eyebrows shot sky high, then she turned to Artie. "She hasn't figured it out?"

"Nope." They burst into a fit of giggles.

I gritted my teeth. "Yeah, okay, I'm being a dunce. Now can you tell me?"

"You never tell us what our birthday presents are going to be!"

"... My birthday is in November, and if you hadn't noticed, it is April." I retreated slowly up the stairs, realising I'd gained more questions than answers.

"_How long were you gone?"_

I paused on the way up to eavesdrop.

Angie hesitated. I could imagine her flattening out that rather brilliantly flowery skirt. "_Three months."_

Well, I think that is quite enough time travelling for Angie. At that point, I couldn't decide whether I felt more angry with, or sorry for, the Doctor.


End file.
